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Subject:Just found out...
Time:09:00 am
Current Mood:annoyedannoyed
Almost two years after we divorced I discover how naive and stupid I was. I was chatting to a friend the other evening who used to work as a Mortgage Advisor. She asked me if, after we separated, my ex-wife had offered to buy out my half of the marital home. This, my friend explained, would have given me a lump sum which I could have used as a deposit on a house, or as a 'nest egg' for the future. This was all news to me. When we separated I didn't look into the financial implications; my ex- went to the mortgage company and sorted things out, then came back to and basically said that we couldn't get divorced unless the mortgage was transferred over into her sole name. This I agreed to - after all, I didn't want our two young sons to lose their family home.
Now that I'm renting a two-bed house from a friend, with a lot of debt, I feel angry at her for deceiving me, and angry at myself for being so ignorant and stupid that I didn't do my homework at the time. Still, I'll know in future!
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Subject:Life is so complicated...
Time:09:25 pm
Current Mood:thoughtfulthoughtful
This whole period is so confusing. I am left trying to figure out what I want for the rest of my life. Trying to imagine a future that makes me happy...and then I realize that I have to make myself happy first. I can't continue waiting for some sign from the heavens that life will miraculously improve, it's up to me to make it happen. Being sad, being hesitant, that just makes me question my choices and my decision...It is time to be confident, time to put myself first...

I'll have to see if I am still this brave in the morning...
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Subject:The first night
Time:08:12 pm
Current Mood:blahblah
So, last night was my first night alone...my soon-to-be-ex was not here and it was the first time I have slept in this apartment without him here or knowing that he would be back. I didn't sleep well at all. Tell me it gets easier...
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Subject:FYI: Divorce website
Time:07:43 pm
Current Mood:busybusy
There are a lot of helpful articles about divorce and moving on with your life after leaving your marriage at Divorce Magazine.
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Subject:New Member
Time:08:35 pm
Current Mood:depresseddepressed
Hi, I'm April. I am 22, almost 23, and my divorce is being finalized. I was married to my high school sweetheart for two and a half years before we decided that, no matter how much we loved each other, marriage was not working for us. So, I am left to begin again. I never dated anyone before my ex-husband, so I don't know where to start. I hate the idea of being labeled a "divorcee" at such a young age. Mostly though, I wonder how I can start healing. My heart hurts so much... Does the pain ever go away??
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Subject:Note from the Moderator...
Time:08:30 pm
Current Mood:restlessrestless
Welcome to afterthedivorce. This is a community for men and women who are rebuilding their lives and starting over after a divorce or separation. Feel free to post about anything related to this topic. Comments that are supportive are always welcome.

"A failing love is like desperately hanging on to something precious; not wanting to give up, but your hands feel the pain. And, when you finally let go, you're free from any pain, but your hands are empty." -Anonymous
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[icon] Starting Over After Divorce...
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